The Supreme Court...

The Supreme Court is one of the things that makes our government the bestest of them all. They get over like 3 bazillion appeals every year, but they only choose a few that are the most important to actually look at. I imagine that it is a very stressful very everyone involved.

Imagine with me for minute.

After years of research, preparation, and appeals, you are finally up to the Supreme Court. As you stand before the large doors that lead into the courtroom, you feel nervous, tense, and anxious. Maybe you even feel like crying. I don’t know. I’m not you.

You slowly open the doors. Your heart starts pounding. Thump thump. Thump thump. Then, out of nowhere, you hear a baby laugh. You look up. There, at the bench, sit 9 babies all dressed in black robes. “Hey, what’s going on here…” you say. Right then, Chief Justice Roberts pokes his head around the corner. “April Fools!” He shouts. “But it’s November,” you exclaim.

“You should have seen the look on your face. You were all like ‘Whaaaa???’” Roberts says as he swaps places with the baby in his seat, “We got you good.”

“Haha! You sure did. I was like, ‘seriously? A bunch of babies are going to be ruling on my case?’”

Everyone is laughing now. The mood in the room is now very jovial and friendly—the perfect environment for discussing the Constitution.

This is what the Supreme Court should be doing! They are way too serious all the time. In their picture, like 2 of them are smiling. I think the use of practical jokes would help with their image of just being a bunch of grumpy old people. Instead of headlines like “Drug Makers Win Two Supreme Court Decisions”, we could have headlines like, “Whoopee cushion goes off as Justice Scalia sits down; Giggling heard from Justice Elena Kagan”.

“Justice Stephen Breyer wears fake mustache as he reads decision on death penalty.”

I just think there could be some room for improvement. That's all I'm trying to say.

Dragon Attacks...

I've had a lot of down time this summer. Google emails me every day to remind me that I have nothing on my calendar. Mostly, I use this extra time for extra eating and sleeping. Sometimes though, I try using it for thinking. I usually start by trying to think of something profound. So profound that if I wrote it down, it would get in into the New Yorker or something. This type of thinking can last upwards of 40 or 50 seconds. Today, however, it did not last that long. As I sat in my thinking chair and looked out the window, I was quickly distracted by the realization that I am not prepared for a dragon attack. At all.

This worries me. My house is in the middle of a field with very little cover. There are some trees, but those would hardly stop any dragons.

My house is just begging for a dragon attack.

I immediately jumped onto the Interwebs and started looking for information. After extensive searching--2 minutes--I found nothing! are people not worried about this? Does our government even have a strategy on how to defend the nation from a widespread dragon invasion? I sure hope they do. Some of us remember what happened in Reign of Fire. Being unprepared can lead to having to fight dragons who will kill you for a long time.

Will we let this happen to us?

So I don't know about you, but I am going to do everything I can to prepare myself. I want to be able to hold my own in a dragon fight. I'm not quite sure what that involves yet, but I am going to find out everything I can. But so far, this is all I can find.

Hopefully we won't have to defend ourselves against dragons. But you never know. According to ChaCha, the chances of being attacked by a dragon is 1/50 and something about Chinese Water Dragons living near streams.

I'll leave you on this note:

Hello Again...

Well, it’s been almost a year since I last posted here. That’s a long time. But I have decided to start using this blog again. I updated the graphics/images so it’s pretty to look at—you’re welcome. 

I’m excited. Some of you are as well! Some of you are saying, “Yes! I have been checking this blog every day for the last 324 (I figured that out in my head) days waiting for an update. This could be the single greatest day of my life.” To those people I say, “Aww, you’re too kind. You were always my favorite. Thank you. Smiley face emoticon.” Others of you are saying, “Whyyyyyyyyyy!!! For the love of humanity why! I was so happy when you weren’t polluting the Internet with every little thought that came to your head!” To those people I say, “Whoa! Geez! You just used a lot of words there! No, I don’t know what they all mean, but I’m pretty sure they weren’t all nice and I don’t really appreciate that. Thanks jerk. Angry face emoticon.” Hopefully you’re with the first group of people. Right? Right?? Why aren’t you answering me???

I’ll try to keep my posts relatively short. Nothing is worse than having to read. You know what they say, “The less you have to read is good because that’s less reading for you.” So you can look forward to all the stuff I’m going to write here! Can’t wait? Check out the archives. There’s stuff on here from 1952! I mean 2010! Boy was that a long time ago.

You may also be interested in my other blog Sam’s Bricks. Sam’s Bricks is all about my LEGO stuff. It’s had some glowing reviews. The New York Times said “It’s pretty okay!” By New York Times, I mean it was just some guy, and by some guy, I mean me. So be sure to check it out! Hopefully you won’t regret it.

I will leave you with this one quick thought: Cardboard boxes are just plain awesome. There is so much you can do with them! Comment with your favorite things to do with cardboard boxes!

When I Grow Up...

When I grow up, I want to be an Intergalactic Space Pirate. Maybe I will be so infamous they will make comic books and TV shows about me. Maybe a movie or two. That would be pretty cool. Now I’m pretty excited to grow up!

My Thoughts

Sometimes I think it would be fun and/or interesting if I had intelligent thoughts. So the other day I decided to sit down and think about how public schools stifle the creativity of their students through their focus on standardized testing. I soon became bored with that and proceeded to see how many Oreos I could fit in my mouth.*

*4. That’s how many Oreos I fit in mouth before I couldn’t resist the urge to eat them anymore.

Weddings...

Wouldn’t it be sad if someone missed their older brother’s wedding because he thought that his brother was just joking and the rest of his family was in on the joke? Yeah, that defiantly did not happen to me last weekend.

Robots...

Science has proved that robots will take over the world on or around April 16^th, 2032. In preparation for this day I am practicing my robot dancing and robot noises so I can assimilate faster in the hopes that our new robot masters will think I am showing great initiative and give me better treatment. I urge you all to do the same.*

*No. Robots are not making me write this. That would be ridiculous. You have a crazy imagination. What did you think? A couple of robots kidnapped me and forced me to write whatever they told me? That would never happen. My computer wrote it for me.

New site! Sort of...

So, I'm building a web site because I'm a nerd. Its called mormie.com. You can check it out now. The idea is to move my blog there someday when I learn how to do that. Knowing me, that could be a while. Anyways, check out the site, give me some feedback. Any reasonable suggestions would be greatly appreciated (keyword is reasonable).

Funny story...

Funny story for you. I accidentally deleted this blog. Luckily, Google is prepared for illiterate idiots like me! So I got it back. But now I have to give up my first born child to Google.

Birds...

Whenever I see a bird hopping around on the ground, I like to pretend its a dinosaur. Its fun until I realize that there are many dinosaurs surrounding me. Then it becomes a little scary. That's when I go back to pretending that they are birds. In 5 minutes I forget and do it all over again.

Geek vs. Nerd...

I was recently at a dinner party*. We came upon the discussion of what a nerd was. We talked on this subject matter for a few minutes. Then another member of our group asked, "Well, what's a geek then?" We began describing what a geek was. But we were having trouble. No one was quite happy with the definitions we were coming up with. It seemed that no one could adequately describe what either was.

Now, I'm not going to put what I think a geek or nerd is just yet because I don't want it swaying what you write. I don't want you to read what I say and think, "Wow. Sam makes a very persuasive and logical argument as to what the difference between a geek and a nerd is. He is obviously right (and it might be safe to say a genius), so I'll use his definitions." I'm glad you think all that, but we don't want that. You can do this without my help. Yes, you can. Even you. Especially You.

So I want to know what you think the difference is. Maybe there is no difference. I hear the words used interchangeably, but I believe that is incorrect usage of the words. I believe that there is a difference. I just cannot put my finger on it. Tell me what you think, please. I asked nicely, so that means you have to...or else. Just kidding. But seriously, do it.



*Let me explain what I mean. I was with some friends and we were eating chips and drinking soda (the dinner part) and we were playing some Xbox (the party part). I chose to use dinner party because make me sound more sophisticated. You are probably saying right now "Sam, you're crazy! You're the most sophisticated guy I know!" And to you I say, "Thank you. I really appreciate that, but I didn't even know how to spell sophisticated. The little demons inside of my computer did it for me. But I appreciate the support!"

If You Asked Me...

If you asked me what one of my biggest fears was, I would have to say waking up as some delicious dessert. Why you ask? It's because I don't think I would have the self-restraint to stop from eating myself. There you have it.

And before you start sending me e-mails, texts, and messenger pigeons whining about how I stole this from Community, I know I did. Let me tell you why. As I watched Troy tell his fear, it struck me: that would be a terrible thing! I would hate for that to happen to me. therefore, it is one of my biggest fears.

Bear Fights (Part II)...

Some of you have asked me what I would do in the earlier posted scenario. So this is what I would do:

1.Realize that the bear is in fact a man in a bear suit,
2.Go up to him and compliment him on the realism of his outfit, and
3.Go back to my campsite and have a dance party with him.

Pretty simple actually.

Bear Fights...

Imagine you're on a nice walk in the woods. Everything is perfect--birds chirping, good smelling pine trees, sun shining. You look up the trail and your eyes widen. A bear is up ahead.What do you do? Good question.

Where You Are...

I realized something today. It's not what is in a place that makes it fun, it's who is there that makes it fun. I could be in a boring cement room, but be perfectly happy if Batman was there. Imagine how cool that would be! Batman and you in a room! He could show you all of his sweet arm blades and karate skills. And of course he would be talking in that sweet voice.

What I am trying to say is that no matter where you are, you can have fun if you have the right people with you. So next time you are going somewhere "boring", get your friends to go with you. And if they don't want to go, drug them and kidnap them so they have to come with you.

(If you don't have any friends, make some. Fast.)

I Have Concluded...

If you have been wondering (you probably haven't, but I have), Rexburg water is worse than Provo city water. This is my conclusion. Just for your information.

Rexburg, Idaho...

Not much can be said about Rexburg, Idaho. Mainly because there is not much here. There are a couple of Subway's. About 2 per person to be precise. Why? I don't know. The most happening place is Walmart. And there is a pretty cool park: Porter's Park.

However, one good thing can be said about Rexburg is Craigo's. This place is an amazing pizza and pasta buffet. Eat 'til your stomach explodes. That's what I do.

Well I'm here for another week or so.

I Once Learned Something...

I once learned something long ago. I forget what it was. Deal with it. All I know is that I didn't like it. So I decided to never do it again.

My Final Days...

I should be packing. But instead I am wondering how cool it would be if I were to draw stuff all over my walls in invisible ink. That way if the person who will eventually move into my room happened to have a black light, they would be like "Whoa!"

I would do something cool like draw a treasure map. Of course that would mean that I would have to go bury something. Maybe I should think this through more.

Brushing My Teeth...

When I brush my teeth, I like to make it look like I have rabies.